Getting Divorced in Virginia, When You’re Worried That Your Biological Clock Is Running Out

You’re looking for a Virginia divorce lawyer to help dissolve your marriage, because your husband had an affair or because you simply cannot countenance some aspect of the marriage. But you may be worried about your biological clock.

In other words, you want to have children, but will splitting up make it impossible (or at least much more difficult) for you to conceive children?

Whether you’re in your mid to late 30s, or you have already crossed into your 40s, you recognize that you have conflicting needs. On the one hand, you crave to have a child (or children). On the other hand, you need to be in a relationship that respects your needs that haven’t been met.

Journalist Kimberly Mishkin recently shared her experience regarding this challenging issue in a piece on the Huffington Post. She married at 24 but then got divorced at 37 and had to figure out how to restructure her life. She told the Huffington Post “when I got married at 24, I assumed I would end up with a house in the suburbs and the 2.5 kids at some point along the way. Before that happened, though, my husband and I wanted to get our careers up and running. We wanted to see the world. More importantly, we wanted to wait until we could actually afford the house and the 2.5 kids.”

Unfortunately, that did not happen for her. She found herself divorced, without kids and without the house in the suburbs at the age of 37. She reflected: “I felt too old to start over again… My friends were all married and having babies. They wanted to support me, but they just didn’t understand. I pretty much perpetually felt like a third wheel… What’s more, it was difficult to meet people my age who were still single. I worried that I would be alone for the rest of my life. Most of all, I was sad that my window of opportunity to have a baby was closing fast. Dating is hard enough, but it’s that much harder when men meet you and sense that your biological clock is ticking. Eventually, I resigned myself to the fact that I wasn’t going to have kids and that I had to be okay with that.”

There was a twist to Mishkin’s story, however. She later remarried and had a baby at the age of 43. Her experience profoundly changed her and inspired her to start an organization called SAS for women, which is an “educational support center for women going through divorce [that] recognizes that divorce doesn’t mean you have to mourn in the past for the rest of your life. [It is in fact] a wonderful opportunity to embrace the future.”

The truth is that options abound, even for people who are older and who want to have kids after divorce. In addition to finding a partner later in life and potentially using fertility treatments, you can also adopt or use surrogates to have children.

And the deeper truth is that life is fundamentally unpredictable. It’s okay to mourn what you have lost. The past is past. But it’s even more important to understand what is true for you now in the present and to develop a direction for the future and a strategy that can take you there. Call the Northern Virginia divorce lawyers at DiPietro Family Law Group, PLLC for insight into your case at 703-370-5555.

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