The Grey Zone: Resuming Intimacy With Your Ex

The pull of attraction can be challenging to ignore, even when every other aspect of your relationship remains disastrous. Unfortunately, if you’ve recently divorced, or you are currently in the midst of the dissolution process, a rendezvous with your ex could cause major problems. Keep reading to learn more about intimacy during and after divorce—and why it’s nearly always a bad idea.

If Still Divorcing

Sexual liaisons and divorce do not mix. Break it off now, unless you and your ex strongly feel that your marriage has hope (if so, pursue counseling as soon as possible). Intimacy could make you vulnerable to shady dealings.

In a unilateral divorce, the spouse who objects to the divorce could point to ongoing sexual liaisons as reason to halt proceedings. A famous example: former NBA player Stephen Jackson attempted to dismiss his divorce from his wife Renata due to their continued sexual affair. Court documents explained, “Despite filing for divorce, [Renata] continued her relationship with [Stephen] in an effort to ‘have her cake and eat it, too.'”

If you proceed with your relationship, keep your divorce lawyer informed. Legal representatives cannot protect your best interests unless they understand the reality of your current relationship with your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

If Already Divorced

A return to previous intimacy may be acceptable after finalizing your divorce, but only under certain conditions. Both parties should be on similar terms regarding the seriousness of your relationship. Define boundaries immediately.

If you experienced abuse in your marriage, resist the urge to once again enter a harmful relationship. The same goes if either of you is currently in a serious romance; anything beyond cordial relations with your ex could irreparably damage your new prospects.

Why Intimacy With Your Ex Is Generally a Bad Idea

Even if you and your ex are on the same page regarding intimacy as a divorced couple, it’s generally a bad idea to remain this close. Obviously, exceptions to this rule occur. However, ongoing emotional and sexual relations make it incredibly difficult to move on with your life. You divorced this person for a reason; a casual affair will not work out any better than your marriage did. If possible, terminate all contact with your ex beyond necessary co-parenting duties.

No matter the nature of your relationship with your ex, you deserve strong legal support from a Washington, D.C. attorney who cares. Look to DiPietro Family Law Group for experienced representation every step of the way.

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